If you recall, in my blog after November 7th. I wrote about missing the ferry to Vashon Island where I was going to be united with a beloved, and that was a wild and crazy time when the direction changed. Singing that Barry Manilow song "Could this be the magic" began the unwinding. Calling out the chorus "Come come come into my arms. Let me know the wonder of all of you!!! My monad could take no more!!!! it was as if the sky opened up and my own soul monad masculine came in and said "O.K. I can't take it anymore!! He is not your beloved I am and I'm taking you back now!!! In that moment like a cosmic cutting blade of Kali, I underwent a mass cutting from all external seeking. ( you see often the victory of the soul is total ego disappointment as misalignment demands correction. It can be very painful to the extent one is attached or invested in the misaligned direction.
Right there on that day my own soul began a rather ruthless process forcing upon me my return to self. Cascading down through lifetimes of very painful abandonment and rejection and death, waiting, waiting, I was brought to the physical damage of my nervous system and the reality of the deeply compromised nerve supply from my brain to my whole body which as mentioned in the last blog entry, provided the context for the take over by the christed cell. It turned out that all this externally directed pathological needing was thrown back in my face as I hurled in a downward spiral of disconnection and rejection.
It turned out this disconnect and rejection coming into full relief was exactly what I needed as it brought me to the existing physical disconnection and damage within my nervous system. At body talk, I was to find that nerve supply from my brain to my general body was severely compromised, and that my whole life, or major parts of my behaviors were a result of this damage, a legacy of the damaged orphan seed. You see, all this seeking connection to love through the external channels was me trying to mimic the healing of this nerve supply, but the pain around this core break was so immense, I had spent my whole life defending against it. Now, I was ready to face the pain that would enable the healing, feeling the full identity of the damaged cell enabled the christed cell to penetrate through the membrane and take over the central control of the cell.
Exit the outer child
So, for as long as I can remember, I have had a near split personality, with a very real little girl child accompanying me through life and acting her own separate personality. Thank goodness, this was not a psychotic state. I have always had conscious awareness of the process. But now, it has been unveiled that this identity has been the core defense of this inner damage. As I lay my body upon the broken grid of the disconnect, I feel her dissolving back into the totality of me, and finally I feel like a grown woman. My husband will miss this little manic creature, but I told him that she will be there in the sparkle in my eyes. That's why I am sarah sparkle. It will take some adjustment for sure as it is a big re-configuration of energies.
So, today I will sing the breath of heaven song, Mary pregnant with Jesus, and I realize that I really am like Mary. This light seed code is something birthing within me in the interface of the darkness and the light, the sacred alchemy of a new life is happening. As the primary cell of my being is transformed into the triune frequency, love, grace, healing and resurrection proliferate through my entire body. Each time there is an upgrade in the primary cell, the whole body receives the upgrade for all of us.
levels within levels
So, the exciting thing if we think microcosm to macrocosm is this: We know that when a baby does not receive touch, the cells begin dying one by one, and if the neglect is severe enough, the primary cell sends out a suicide message and all cells die at once. This is the power of the primary cell. it is like an engine of creation for the whole self. So, now if we consider this on the positive side then it follows that if the primary cell achieves the healing of the sacred marriage and the birth of the triune frequency of resurrection, then every cell in the body receives the call to follow this upgrade!!!
Now, if we go out another level, what if each of us as human beings is a cell in the body of the whole of humanity and when enough of us come online to a critical mass in this sacred marriage of light, we, in effect, function as a coherent primary cell for the whole body of humanity and succeed in sounding a call to the whole of every human being on the Earth bound for the ascension timeline.
Now, stay with me, what if we take it to the next level. Now I don't know if this one is accurate, but from what many spiritual teachers have said to me, it could well be. What if the Earth itself and all of us as it's consciousness outposts contributing to the sum total of Earth, when it reaches it's critical mass sacred marriage resurrection state, serves as a primary cell for the whole of the cosmos and sends out a call to every other planet to return to love. Many have said that planet Earth is a key to many doors, that what happens to planet Earth initiates a chain reaction far and wide. Any way, at this point this is all hypotesizing, but I get goose bumps just thinking about it. What a wild ride. what a great adventure. What an amazing time.
So now, getting back to the full circle theme. Tomorrow I return to see the one I was going to see at that party and his wonderful girlfriend, and I am returning, this time as a whole being, not completely healed, but well on my way back to the full sacred marriage of my own being within my own self no longer being able to be shaken by the glory of an outside mirror, but able to stand in the true knowing that the quintessential union of lover and beloved is achieved within myself as it is for all selves. I feel now that I am ready to see them. Lover and beloved, mother and father. She held me like a mother through the great descent and return back to myself. Even through the tumult, she never let me go. I am so happy to see them both.
Pathological communion has been replaced with the knowing of the possiblity of real communion, the only real communion that exists, the communion within self. It is this communion of self love,the masculine and feminine within the self, that is the portal to our god consciousness and the connection to the infinite supply of source and the fulfillment of all desire. May we all find our way back home to the sacred marriage within and rise together as one glorious planet of light.
Yes, you did it. and it was good!
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