Vulnerability as the Gateway to Sacred Communion within Self

Beloved light barers,  a new realization, well, really, an ancient realization, has been dawning in me this day.  I was caught in the roller coaster of ups and downs of  my cognitive’s long programmed, baseline tendency to attempt an escape from pain and protect myself in isolation. There has been a pattern in me to fall in love outside myself in order to retrieve parts of myself. I have been doing it off and on for 30 years, but I made a breakthrough last night and into this morning to release myself from this karmic cycle once and for all. This morning I realized that it is the very identification with a self that is vulnerable to anything that leaves us vulnerable to everything, and that this is the core separation identification mechanism that actually causes the suffering and the sensation and perception that one is not already smack dab in the middle of the unity field.

In other words, it is the full embrace of all “vulnerability” that the truth of one’s underlying invulnerability is revealed.

Until one can stand in that place that sees all feeling and all sensation as gift,  one cannot know the freedom from the bondage of the segregating mechanism, that calls one sensation or emotion to be the most precious honored guest, and then rejects another as a leper or a killer.  I will make a bold statement here: This rejection of the entire “negative” spectrum of emotions is the core cause of underlying sorrow and that which perpetuates the underlying sense that one is not, in fact, the source and bringer of all ecstatic communion in its full embodiment of all-embracing love.

So, it is an absolute trap to think that some sort of flavor of ecstatic communion is superior to another, that the sweet merging experienced of unity love that can be triggered by a person outside the self is superior to what is within the self. I will attempt to illustrate this with an example from my own life. Last night, after bathing and drinking of this "perceived superior" love again, I wept into a puddle of the ultimate agony of the sensation that I am separate somehow from this love. I gave myself fully to the cutting agony. (Because I have done this "Wash, rinse, repeat cycle" 28 times in the lat 30 years, the whole mechanism was singing its last song, i.e, becoming extinct. Thank God!) It was a short wave, and on the other side of it, I proclaimed, "I have the capacity for this sacred union within my embodiment. If I can sense it, I must have the potential for it. Then I asked my bones to show me the truth of this oneness and how I can attune to its embodiment. 

I returned one more time to the "Lion's den of that external unity seduction, lingering in the presence of the external beloved as long as I could, When I separated from him, I witnessed the thought and then the sensation that I might die in the letting go, an echo of infancy separation from the mother that has rippled through my whole life. But I did return to my bed and fall into sleep with the same prayer on my breath.  "Show me the equivalent to this exquisite unity love field within my own embodiment. Free me from this bondage to the external." 

Quite simply, The state of ecstatic communion within that frees us from bondage to the external, is found in the un-segregated welcoming of all emotions and all sensations home into the heart.

When I awoke, I had the knowing! All is blessing, all is the beloved, If I am to be free of the bondage and attachment to anything or anyone outside myself, I must walk fully toward all vulnerability, moving toward it and not away from it. It was then that I started to feel my center as a great shining sun, Like a sun that has shone since the dawn of time, invincible, un-changing, ever present shining. As I stood as this shining light of perpetual presence, I knew there is no vulnerability. It is so ironic that it Is only in giving one’s self fully to that sense of vulnerability that we are delivered into the knowing of ourselves as invulnerable.  And then we know ourselves as the center and source of all ecstatic communion. Quite simply, ecstatic communion is felt as the un-segregated welcoming of all emotions and all sensations home into the heart. Like beloveds returning to the wedding hall, like children, returning to the mother’s warm heart that is felt as infinite blessing to both parties, the receiver and the received. And in this the two sides of duality unite, and one becomes the sacred ground for their sweet communion. Then there comes to be a circulation of such bountiful love within the self that, nothing outside the self , no matter how bright it shines, can wrest one from the arms of the wedding festival of soul communion within ones own great wedding hall.

To re cap a bit, The only freedom comes when the heart really gets the truth that there is no superior flavor. All flavors dawning into the heart come as ecstatic communion by virtue of the experience of being taken fully into the ultimate feminine apex of the singularity within the neutral heart. This heart expands wide open to the pain, the pleasure as gift, as both just different colors of rays flooding back into the great sun of the heart. And the act of  embracing  every incoming sensation as blessing, births us into  the knowing of ourselves as the great all embracing love of the one, that is dancing at the core of all creation. I.e. there is no place where it is not. As this oneness witnesses itself in all expressions, all expressions return to their full maturity as out-pressing blosssoms from the great lotus heart of the one.

All longing is answered in this willingness to be fully present with all that arises without attempting defense or escape.  In all embracing presence, we resurrect from this long night of bondage and come to shine as our own planet of light. Freedom at last!!!!

Catch up on videos: December - Feb 3rd

Solar logos Bursting forth: February 3rd         Identifying Double Bind Programs December 5th

November 23rd,. Requirements for the Embodiment of Unity Consciousness

The Return to God: The End of the Impulse of the Separate Self

Return to Balance part 1 and 2

A month into the 5D shift, In the Void of the inbetween

Hello space fans and Earth fans. Well, It is almost a month into the 5d shift, and things have been really a mixed bag from this perspective. I feel that the huge taste of the architecture and essence of 5D was just that. I feel as the matrix came in, it gave us a nice wafting fragrance of its nature. However, the actually grounding of that nature into embodiment demands that we process through the depths of shadow. So, there have been several trips to the underworld or rather an almost continuous exposure to the feelings of lack and limitation and despair since the first big taste. It is not always easy to receive these exposures and then be left walking in what feels to be a void again without the ability to touch the home frequency of the oneness field. But we just must keep breathing, keep feeling, keep going forward knowing we are evolving, that threads are being woven underground even if we can't see or feel them in the topside world. Right now I feel shipwrecked on an island in a way, like everything has stopped, all forward momentum. I keep reaching for something to connect to, but nothing is there. And this feeling of nothing must be ok right now. So blessings to all in the no- thing, the divine melancholia of being pulled off of one operating system when we are not yet anchored to the other.

Anchoring in the Diamond Matrix: Welcome to the 5th dimensional platform

                      Hi Everyone, Welcome to the field of 5th dimensional consciousness!!!!

Well, what a ride it has been getting through this last eclipse! It has been like going through the washer and dryer, shedding all of the dense thoughtforms and emotions that would anchor us into 3D. It has been a time of delivering ourselves ever more into our bodies from higher dimensions. I experienced delivering myself from the big dipper in the 7th higher heavens all the way down to a great bear in the frozen tundra where an Inuit mama caught me as a new born in her arms. It has certainly been a delivery from Heaven to Earth, as mama Earth opens to receive brand new levels of benevolence. This circuitry of benevolence began its major anchor on August 26th just about a month before the blood moon eclipse. But if it put down it's first tendrils on August 26th, These tendrils were fully anchored in on the blood moon. The anti-life forces fought tooth and nail to hang onto their descending timeline, but we stepped through the gateway and anchored the tendrils once and for all. So the architecture that houses the birth of the Diamond matrix Christed body is in here!!!!

Some may not be feeling this monumental accomplishment with any dramatic changes in their personal life, but some may, indeed, be feeling the upgrade.

I know I am. On Wednesday September 30th that's the day I landed in 5D and was immersed in a sea of love as if every particle of substance was made of love. I felt this magical oneness with everything, 

 the world so subtle, sub-atomic particles dancing into me like a tantric bliss fest of love making with all that is. Wow, it was awesome. Since that day, it is phasing in and out, not as readily automatically accessible.

Now, i must consciously participate in the thought forms that support this new matrix. It is like I am being taken by the hand and led into the field, but I must surrender most every thought about my personal life. The mantra seems to be "Turn down the volume on the self. Turn up the volume on the oneness. Remember the oneness. Let is take you into itself. Let it envelope you into this subtle sea of dancing light. It is out in nature that I can truly receive this instruction. It is as if the plants, the trees, the air, the devic spirits all around are already there. They are the main guides now until this thing anchors fully. The human mind completely tends to drop the frequency as soon as it begins thinking of its own accord. Nature is the mentor here!

So loves, get out in nature as much as you can!!! It nows!!! It will take you there. and open your mind to be led by something beyond what it knows, to be led into a subtle frequency of exquisite gentleness and benevolence where everything is already complete and full and celebrating in this subtle dance of joy. Blessings as you play with this, as we play with this and give ourselves ever more to this field of the aurora christ, the Diamond Matrix of love based beingness.

Everyone will be coming into this field in time! Many blessings

Preparing for the Tsunami of light of September 28th