The pain and ego death of disconnection from the outside world as re-direction into the self

Well, fellow travelers. After eating massive amounts of pumpkin pie and left-over Christmas dinner as a daily i.v. and watching old episodes of "Monk" until Tony Shaloub is all I see when I close my eyes, walking aimlessly along Venice beach watching the surfers, watching all the people who appear to be so connected hear to this Planet Earth journey while myself feeling like a stranger visiting this place not knowing why I am here at all or not being able to identify 1 thread that connects me to the identity of this place. What a surreal experience! But I just keep going through motions to see if anything can pull me into caring about being here, but nothing does and then, I get ready for bed, shake the quilt out, and I hear something that sounds like my glasses clicking or falling or something.
Startled, I realize my glasses are gone. I begin crying. I begin feeling the disconnect that has been pervading through everything, finally honestly feeling. Through my layringitis, I can't really cry with the tone of the voice that I know, but I do know my feelings, the feeling of sadness. Suddenly, I feel connected to the honesty of the disconnect and I cry and cry until the tears are finished. There are still no glasses, but I go to sleep and it is a sleep of deep re-memberment

The breath catches and I feel like I am suffocating, but I hear the doctor's voice telling me that I am 99% oxygen and my lungs are clear so I know it is an identity from another timeline trapped behind suppression architecture that does not allow good inter-face with this dimension, and I reach down deep into the place in my lungs that feels blocked and I attempt to breathe this disconnected identity up into my lungs in this 3rd dimensional body. It is so good to know what is really happening. Now, I get that I, in the 3d body, am the one who can breathe these parts from other timelines into these lungs to be part of this body and that that is my number one job in this life. At least that is the absolute priority for my soul at this time, not going forward to manifest or create or be a part of this 3d world, have a career, make an outward impact on this world, know myself as something or someone important who is contributing or connected here. NO, the number one priority is to re-claim all soul pieces home into this now self. And having no thing going forward in the top- side world seems to be the way this consciousness keeps itself available to the in-coming wounded.

And so it is that i find my clarity in this understanding of what is going on. It is not an easy time for the ego, continuing to grasp and claw at the outside world for anything to cling to, being met only by emptiness to fall back upon again and again, but it is this falling into emptiness that enables me to be the great and glorious mother's heart that calls back everything that has ever been a part. And I assume when we are finally all here, we will go forward in some way into this world to do all the things I am envisioning and give all that i came to give to humanity and the Earth. But for now, I remain in the receiving station for the incoming wounded, a sacred receiving room indeed.

  Deafeningly empty for the ego, 

but loud and clear for the deeper soul that lives to re-member all.

They say the new year will bring new movement. We shall see. 

Blessings to all my fellow travelers

Led into Gold

As I am emerging out of a deep dive and physical cleansing since Black Friday. I am seeing with clear vision so much as I cough and hack up and give back so much debris from inside this vessel. Yes, there has never been an answer outside to the glaring lack of this presence inside. The answer has always been to follow the call of this great upgrade and die to all that needs to leave this vessel, and upon it’s compost re-combine the sweetest most aligned substances of this architecture and raw materials to create a vessel that can carry the highest light into this world that that which sponsored me came to deliver to humanity. And so it is: All the lack has been like a prodding stick to push me forward into this deep process of un-doing and re combining and surrendering, like the metal that goes again and again into the oven with it’s mercury angel to be purified. The alchemy of evolution is quite astounding. I was trained as an ancient alchemist to turn lead into gold by manipulating the metal, smashing it into a poultice that could receive it’s angel of water vapor insemination, putting it into the fire so sex could happen, re-combining it into it’s upgraded form sequentially so that finally lead was rendered into Gold. And I made a typo there for a second, but what a marvelous typo it is because that is exactly it. Here on Earth even when we find ourselves as Lead because we are, indeed, on a Christed planet, we will eventually be led back to our Gold! I don’t know if I ever dreamed in that life time, that we , as humanity would someday literally undergo exactly what that metal did undergo to become elemental , white powder gold. Well, yes we are my friends. Birthing the Christ in time for Christmas 2014. So much love to all!

Final days of Incubation

Hello all,

just a short check in. So much seems to be at a stand still right now. I am finding myself held in a no action, no forward movement time. Hang in there. let the core survival fears and the lack imprints clear as you witness them from a nuetral observer stand point. On the other side of this, we will move forward with new wings! Love to all!!!

Achieving Access to locks holding in place the Inorganic Matrix

Hello loves,

Well, with the 12-12-14 gateway, we have achieved the penetration of the inorganic architecture blocking Divine Mother's access to her creation on Gaia. It is as if we have made it through the material of a dense condom that was blocking the holy seed of the living light from reaching the organic soul held hostage within matter. The metalic layers of death code have kept us out of our authentic identity for thousands of years. Now, as we throw the great radio transmitting the death frequency into the organic living dirt of the divine Earth heart of mother, all in physicality can return to its divine Christed Blue print as the founders intended for all children of the Earth.. Blessing to all. As the in-organic matrix purges, it can look pretty dark. Just hold fast to the great living mountain that is rising for us all. We are all rising together as returns Mother's living light to heal all of creation.