Hello all,
It has been a-while since my last post, and life has been changing amazingly much. I have left all tutoring jobs. Allegedly I though I could tell my clients that it was because I was going on tour across the U.S. to share my music and travel with a band of healing angels which I am still partially doing. I'll be going with portal to ascension for about 6 days and then flying home. Sleep still comes much easier in my own bed as the major theme for my life is stabilizing my own energies within self.
A big part of this is unplugging as much as I can from the external world and all the advertising pulls of the internet to take this tele-class and sign up for this community and buy this product that is all somehow going to give me something that I need and don't already have. I am addressing this lie, this bombarding lie that floods us in western society that implies in it's very veins that we are not enough and there is something out there we need. Wow, just unsubscribed from 12 mailing lists. What a relief! But it's more than that it's my own mind that tells me I've got to add energy to the sytem, I've got to strive, make, prepare, produce, figure out sell, market... Whatever it is. Just this constant sense that I must keep efforting for something that is not here. Ahhhh, so enough of the lie. Now I want to talk about the truth!
The truth is that I am a being of infinite abundance that everything that I need is already here... that the very air molecules are made of love, that love permeates every piece of creation, that bliss is bountifully emanating from the spawning field of light that courses through my veins and is in my own breath. It is that close. In the absence of all the external pulling and seduction, at the bottom of the frenzied searching and seeking, this love is there...like a river flowing at the base of my being. Enoughness is the state of my true being. it is the default position that my soul rests upon, like a soft feather bed of already always having just what I need.
I went in and laid on the healing table, deciding to become my own client for a time. That's what my life seems to be about right now... not reaching out to bring anything in to myself, but learning to fill myself from inside, learning to connect mother and child within and drink from the circuit of my own self love until I feel truly full. This drinking can only happen as I unplug and exhaust the externally seeking circuitry. What a task. And the mind is so afraid that if it doesn't sign up for some class, it will be left behind and miss the bus to paradise. And that this class is different. This one is the one that really matters when at the base of it, I just need to address that fear that somehow I don't have what I need within myself and my life as it exists to get what i truly need, and then it comes right back down to taking that little infant back to the healing table and letting her nurse from the breasts of my own heart's love, the only thing that can ever satiate her thirsty starving heart.
So, that is where I find myself. Frank, my wonderful husband is handling all the bills as long as I don't spend money on anything but gas and food. So the universe has it set up perfectly that I must unplug to this notion that I need anything out there to make me whole. I guess it's all perfect, but sometimes it really sucks trying to change directions so completely like this. Is anyone else going through this stuff? I'd love to know.
Anyway, I guess that is pretty much it for now. My teacher, lisa Renee, says that the actual architecture of the mind of God is imprinting at the third eye for many fo us now, and it is completely demanding total re-configuration. Maybe this movement into sourcing the self from within is that re-configuration within me.
Anyway, I will sign off for now.
Blessings to all.
Sarah
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