Sweet elixir of life, make it in self. Share it with the world

Hello again.

It feels like forever as I begin these words. So much has been happening. My world has been rocked by deep connections that surpass anything I have ever known or at least match the greatest sense of purpose and connection that I have ever known. Someone has come into my life who truly needs the love from my heart, and this call to be of service in a very tangible way has been fulfilling me at levels that infuse me with passion and a sense of true involvement in this earth plane.

Just as the placenta in the mother longs to fill the baby's brain with all the resources, all the sweetness, all the blessings for it's coming life. So I am called to give my love. Still I marvel at how huge this love can be and pour out so readily toward another, while yet, there is not the same facility to pour this love back upon my self and receive it here. Well, there is the facility to pour it, but it is like the
receptivity field within is twisted and tangled and doesn't know how to let it in.
This great contrast of ease in outpouring of love and great difficulty of feeding it within is creating a sense of deep aching and starvation inside me.

Ahh well, maybe I should just feel the depth of the force of my impulse to give and enjoy it and give it, and ask to be a part of the circuit, instead of trying to re-route the circuit, just practicing imagining standing under the great fountain of light, positioning my self in a place where some of it begins to touch me.
Ah, such a strange predicament. This self love is the portal to ascension, and the dark forces have done a very effective job of keeping us focused in the external world as the trump card for our fulfillment whether through giving love or receiving love, we are told that fulfillment is there while boards and signs and electric fences of self repellance and rejection are thrown up between us and our sacred hearts. And yet, we have to go stand right there in front of the obstacles with our perseverance to know our own love until the steel grid and the stone walls and the "no entry signs" begin to melt in the shear magnitude of our unrelenting insistance that something lies within!!Not just something but the sacred cathedral, the bride and bride groom that wait in passivity for us to activate the god seed within the diamond core of the god seed within. The jig is up. We know the goods are within. Now it is just a matter of focused attention and intention to open the kingdom of God and watch the bounty of god essence pour forth and then pour it forth into the world through all the beautiful manifestations that would be born of this great light. But first it is to focus attention on the alchemical laboratory wherein is born the sweet elixir of life, and we with our inward focus, are the incubators of the elixir.

Let us gather together also and share this sweet medicine among each other and the world, lifting up the down, feeding the hungry and giving water to the thirsty. For it is this god essence that heals all.