a solid foundation

My one word of advice for us all right now cause it's been a lesson this week especially is take time to feel the sadness and the fear if you can sense them. Take time to give them a space to be known. I am realizing I keep efforting at keeping my vibration high and happiness as the state I'm experiencing, but then I noticed this gnawing sadness underneath and thought:" hmm, I can sort of hold it at bay and push it down and continue to dance on top of it." but this was taking a lot of effort so I decided to go down and welcome it up, and wow so much sadness and fear, but today after releasing this layer, I notice it is taking much less effort to just feel the flowing life force and the natural state of bliss. Being willing to leach out the toxic emotions from the foundation is so important so that we can build something with true staying power that resonates with the highest integrity, balance and the highest love and that won't have to be torn down and re-built the match the standards of the coming vibrations of awakening. Yes, we might as well do the foundational work now. Anything that rises as a construction out of a fear-based mind will have to come down. Shore up those foundations in deep unconditional love and allowance of all emotions. Do not go forth in action unless you are existing in balance and relative non attachment. Then you can truly be of use to the divine plan only when you really have no vested interest in any of it at the ego level. Ironic, isn't it. By the time the ego gets it's wish it is so dissolved that it really doesn't care. but the Soul knows and celebrates in drama-less contentment and a sense of rightness as we stand to take our place in power and love, to fulfill the roles we came to fulfill in the timing of the awakening of the one and the all.
good bye for now.

I just wanted to share this with all.
So much love to everyone. As more and more awaken to their core love, we will all be floating so easily on the sweetest river. It is coming. In the meantime we build our own and our collective stairway to heaven piece by piece, peace by peace and love by love and tear by tear.

Our true nature is infinite abundance

Sunday as I was checking out the beautiful Tum Water Falls Park in Olympia, I was spoken to from a deep place within myself, reminded that all the seeming lack brought on by my current financial situation is just part of an illusory fabric constructed out of mistaken beliefs. I surveyed the sudden harsh steep slopes of the man made dam in contrast to the kinder, gentler gates constructed so beautifully alongside these, giving the Salmon an option of gentleness and ease. I asked to myself, isn't there an option of ease for me? There must be something beyond all this struggle and impossiblity and seeming dead end of lack. Then this voice came from within and said, ah, there is a place where all is already full; there is a place where abundance abounds and love pours into you from all sides, dancing into you and filling you and what's more, you are this place. Your suffering is caused by identifying with what you are not. And although nothing really changed in my situation, I began to feel a great sense of ease as if I was already home and that no out-picturing in this conditional reality can define who I am. I will not give an illusory network of beliefs and assumptions and conditions the power to take me from my peace, the peace of who I already am. I can't wait to return in September to watch the salmon and behold the path of gentleness and kindness before them. I know in the wild they would jump many steep falls and the wild is always better than anything man-made, but small steps to attempt to co-exist with nature are so appreciated.

And if I go to singing alive here in a couple of weeks, I will go with the knowing that the place I drink from and feed from is within the earth, the sky and my own being. I do not need to lead a big circle to prove I am loved on the Earth or to feel my hungry soul. I've been looking to be fed by other people's validation and attention. This is not the true feeding place. Looking here can only lead to suffering and disappointment for it is life's job to guide me to the fountain within to drink there of the source. So all the programming of desperation for love from childhood is just a blessed pointer to the true feeding ground within.

I would love to lead a large circle with enough people to sing 4 parts and really weave the tapestry of sound, but if that doesn't happen. O.K. If I come with meat on my bones, the meat I am finding now as I turn my identification to the fullness within, i will not be looking to the outer from a desperate place. And who knows, the greatest thing of all would be if I could feel the joy of everyone else's victory's and joys and not be so focused on getting but rather at least 50% or more of my energy on giving to others and being a blessing to others. Yes, this is why I came to Earth. Well both to fill my inner cup and to feel the joy of sharing the bounty with others feeling joy wherever so it be that "the one" is rejoicing.
Love and blessings to all

floating in space

Hello, and the captains log entry for today is mainly about feeling very disconnected. Feeling like I'm floating in space with nothing tethering me. i suppose it could be a pleasant situation but that is not how it is coming in through my filters. i feel quite sad and lost in this floating space like Major Tom when he has lost connection to the earth base, and he begins hurling toward Earth. Last week Thursday April 22- Tuesday the 27th, it was like the fall of a civilization within me, so much die off, so much letting go! Then after the massive weeping and de-toxing into surrender the waste was carried away like magic and the ground was completely barren waiting for the new to come. And on Tuesday morning I felt the beginnings, the first scaffolding of an edifice of light installed on the new ground. That was exciting, but now, today, there is a sense of absolute nothingness that is unsettling. Anyone else feeling this?
Let's stay connected. What a wild ride. Maybe it is just an absence of things pulling at my attention. Perhaps I should be grateful for the lack of drama.
Until Next....love and blessings

Bravers of the impassable code

So it is a time for the changing of hands, what has been well kept inside the city of fear is now being delivered unto the land of love. WE, the restorers of the code of the human angel, have braved the city of the night. We have come and laid our bodie's our very lives upon the grid of separation and fear, we have air-lifted provisions from the land of love to fortify us in the depth of battle, we have grown our base of love more and more from within this land, and now it is time for the penetration of the night sky itself that liberates us once and for all, and transforms the nature of the substance of the veil of fear itself for all who will come after.

I realize now, that many do not relate to my story, my particular experience, but perhaps some reading this do. Many are playing the role of holding a genetic code that is passable enough, love based enough, that they can live in this amazingly compromised expression of life that we see here on planet earth especially in our western society of fragmented structures, enslaved economy, school systems that farm us off for 6 hours a day, jobs that farm us off while the sun is awake and deliver us at dusk. If the inner state of the DNA is passable, one can be trained and raised to live complacent in this reality, but if the state of the DNA is severely damaged, one cannot live within this compromised system. One must give their whole energy to seed a world that reflects the unity and the love that is alive inside the shattered code. At our core, we, human beings have an exquisitely beautiful GEnetic code aligned with love and sovereignty and co-creatorship with all of existence. Before the massacre of our code, we lived as outbreaths of God in great concert with the music of existence, the music of life. Those of us who have come to brave the impassable code, carry this awakened song memory within us and it fuels us through the darkest of the night. It fuels us to keep persevering until we have penetrated the night sky of fear with our very bodie's.

My trip to Joshua tree retreat to the "Celebrate your Light" retreat was my way of saying that no matter how strong the fear comes, I will persevere in the face of it, and I will live to stand on the other side of it. Now, it is the final separation from my birth mother's karmic placental soup, to extricate myself from all that has gone before in limitation, and to stand as a citizen of the world of love based reality. Deep in the night, under my own loving hands, I work on the mending of the fracture, bringing cellular repair along the line of my solar plexus, the line of the great war.

I am remembering myself as an integral part of the matrix of life, the matrix of the remembered light body of the earth and all the cosmos as it was before the interference. Ahhhh, yes, but no matter how badly shattered and severed the genetic code of the human angel, it is still the genetic code of the human angel: and when enough of it is intact, fear is vaporized by its essence. Nearly 27 years now of the great work to remember the code, and I am having glimpses of just who this human angel is and what it feels like to live as this living light code. Hold onto your suspenders everyone. WE are so much more than we now know ourselves to be. Think the size of the stay puff man in the movie "Ghost Busters" and you are getting closer.
Blessings to all whether immersed in the passable code that will become more and more glorious or the ones immersed in the inpassable code: May you have great strength and perseverence to penetrate your night sky and stand as love once again. I am with you. And guess what? The code is not impassable. The Jail bars have their limit. Thank God, but they do give you quite a run for the money.

the petrie dish of becoming

I'm realizing right now I feel like a petrie dish of scattered non descript fragments of Genetic material. And my task is just to breathe love into the mass, and continue one foot in front of the other to grow it into a living self sustaining organism. I feel like I myself am this organism and my love in every moment gives me the juice to proceed with the next moment. There is nothing in my external life to hold onto. It's like I have to create the womb for this pre-self organism all on my own, or rather with creator, I get to behold it's becoming and have faith when it all feels so empty. It is quite a challenge to keep going sometimes and to keep believing.

But we do as we keep breathing the sweet breath of life when we stop to let the sweet oxygen in to revive us. The oxygen of the now moment unfettered by the what ifs of lack and fear, just present in the enoughness of the breath of now.

The Winds of Change

I don't know if you fellow earth travelers are feeling it, but great change feels to be afoot. It is a kin to a great wind that is ripping out all the anchors of the known constructs of my identity. Here is the log from my cognitive mind

Captains log 3-30-10: 900 hours

The wind of change is upon us. It has ripped the last boat from it's harbor, the anchors are all coming up. The hold fleet is at the affect of this great wind, it comes from the west, terror echos from the crew, terror through the night... there is nothing to be seen in the depth of the darkness, only to feel what is being ripped away as we watch the harbor lights receedng into the distance. Wind is here that will not be denied. We have no power against it. It exerts it's force upon us carrying us into unknown harbors. It is clear that we cannot fight this force that is taking us now. We know we are going, but we know not where, into the night, towards a new light. The boy and the girl are becoming teenagers falling in love, magnificent and glorious innocence of first love in the valley of delight. but the enchanted kingdom and their union is the death of the entire framework of this mental mechanism of defenses and tyranny. As they love a sun rises that is the death of my harbor of separation and control. As their love overtakes more and more of the scene, a great valley of beauty and wonder rises up into being and the ending of my world, makes this rising possible. Ah, perhaps surrender is not so bad after all.

Tell me: which master do you serve, fear or love?

Ah so I awoke early this morning with the windstorm of thoughts blowing around in a gust, but I believe there are some valuable gems in the mix to share.

The first thing to get is the brain, the physical structure of the brain is a receiver.
It is not a creator of thoughts, but a receiver of frequencies that impulse it's machine. The great task standing before us is that this receiver of the brain is currently held ransom much of the time by unconscious, impulsive programs put in place to avoid presence and therefore, to avoid pain.

The best metaphor for the blast of mind activity that results to avoid pain is that of a great wind that constantly attempts and many times succeeds in ripping our attention out of the present moment. These impulse comes from the survival based fear fueled solar plexus chakra. The higher mind has no gateway into the solar plexus. We are only reachable by the higher mind when we can begin dwelling in our hearts.

So how do we begin to slow and eventually calm the wind and arrive more and more into our hearts? To do this we must begin to face the pain we are avoiding. All of us have a vat of unconscious pain that our mind is slave to to some degree. So the key is to begin a practice of vigilance to identify which behaviors feel to be driven by an unpeaceful energy, interrupt these behaviors and feel the pain or the fear and unrest that is present just under the surface.

Simultaneously, it is tantamount that we actively and deliberately take the steps that will bring joy into our lives from moment to moment. This also keeps us open to be impulsed by our higher mind and heart.
There is a joy that is our authentic nature, and our footsteps long to walk this path for it resonates with who we are. Like a child simply putting one foot in front of the other, creating her stairway to heaven step by step, we must follow our joy.
This is not a quest for joy that is born out of the wind of unfelt pain, but this is a joy that emanates from it's own seed of self within. It has an organic impulse like a seed that wants to blossom and a star that longs for the revelation of it's light.

So, it may seem paradoxical in nature, but these are 2 different mechanisms: And the reaction to each is very different indeed. For the 1st, the pathological joy questing of the mind must be dismantled for it is driven by dis-ease and desperation. While in direct contrast, the authentic joy arising from the core of self, must be nurtured, nourished and put at the helm of the ship as the actual compass by which we steer the life. Very different indeed, but on the surface seeming to be after the same thing. The mind is not in reality. It does believe that it is going the right direction, and sometimes it can be quite tricky to unmask it's self deluding behavior, but if it's impulse cannot be sustained without your conscious attention moving it, then you've got pathological joy questing. while cultivating and following the authentic joy steps of the seed self is self sustaining. The impulse of that basic joy will keep arising again and again. Maybe in a different form, but that doesnt' matter and it can arise independent of anything the attention is focused on. One good way to tell which is which is that the former will be accompanied by a "needing to get" feeling, like your running on a tread mill with a hungry monster biting at your ankle's just behind you. The latter is more just an organic arising of "yes, this is what I'm supposed to do, like when the flower receives the impulse to grow another step toward it's eventual blossoming and puts out a fresh green leaf.

At this time in our history, not waking up is no longer an option. The tension that is increasing in the lower mind field is becoming a mine field. So it is tantamount that all of humanity begin actively participating in the upgrade of consciousness to become impulsed more and more by the higher mind and heart and remove ourselves from that which holds the bondage to the lower mind.

The number one way we free ourselves from the mine field of the lower mind is to dismantle addictive behaviors and feel the pain that is underneath. Breathe, Be present. Find connection to what is alive in you in every moment, and if there is unrest, meet it with love and release the pain. Breathing in joy and light and connection to god source energy in it's place. This is how we make the upgrade we are being asked to make by Novmeber of 2011, we must be out of the mine field or there she blows!!!!

Another metaphor I love is that the pool we have been swimming in is about to become more and more a pool of pirannas. For quite some time they have been babies with only little nubs for teeth, but beware because now they are maturing, and with maturation comes the truth of the teeth. So we must simply begin moving to a higher pool to do our swimming, one that is filled with the waters of the higher mind and heart beyond identification with the emotionally driven identiy. Emptying the vat of unconscious pain we become more and more able to arrive in these clear waters of love and balance and sovereignty over the bondage to the emotional body and lower mind impulse.
I wish us all well, as we engage consciously in this process of extricating ourselves from the mine field of unconsciousness and become ever more sovereign over our lives.
love and blessings to all.

Sarah